Call me old-fashioned, but I’ll never ditch ...

I feel like the last soldier standing on a hill surrounded by a Bluetooth-powered enemy army — they’re waving their blue and white rune-riddled flags and insisting on my surrender. Apple, Bose, and all the headphone brands watch from behind the front lines as I hold my Apple EarPods and 10-year-old Bose SoundSports above my head. I refuse to give them up, and everyone around me sighs exasperatedly.

I’m not kidding, no amount of social pressure or port discontinuation can sway me away from my trusted wired headphone life. For a long time there, I was the only one in school, on campus, or even at the gym rocking the unmistakable wires dangling from both ears. But now, I’m the one laughing the whole way home, because wired headphones and earbuds are back in style.

For me, though, it’s never been completely about making a fashion statement. The other reasons I have kept me far away from Bluetooth headphones, and the wired style just became a part of me from there on out. So, why am I so vehemently against such convenient technology? There are two arguments I hold against the tech, but one endearing quirk I love the most about wearing the wires.

1

Health

EMF exposure

I grew up in a household that was holistic-health oriented. While we had all the bases covered when it came to eating, movement, and other general aspects of being healthy, I was particularly focused on reducing my exposure to toxins and anything that might mess with my body on the outside. More than half of health optimization is mitigating toxic exposure nowadays.

Part of mitigating toxin exposure is being aware of EMF technology, or non-ionizing electromagnetic field tech. Ionizing radiation might sound more familiar — that’s the kind of radiation you find with X-rays and radioactive waste and is well-known for causing harmful damage to your DNA and body (and often associated with cancer). However, non-ionizing radiation gives off less energy and is safer, and it’s part of what makes Bluetooth and many electronic devices work (like microwaves, TVs, Wi-Fi, MRIs, power lines, etc.). And though it’s the safer kind of radiation, cell phones especially emit low levels of this kind of radiation while they’re in use.

So what about Bluetooth technology? Bluetooth, obviously, is used to connect two devices wirelessly. To do so, Bluetooth uses short-range radio frequencies (RF) to make this connection. And you guessed it: RF gives off a small amount of this non-ionizing radiation.

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Now this isn’t to fear-monger. There are all sorts of conflicting studies and other information deposits regarding the safety (or lackthereof) of cellphone and Bluetooth usage. The National Cancer Institute also states that “there is currently no consistent evidence that non-ionizing radiation increases cancer risk in humans,” which is vital to note. However, like I said — I grew up in a household that was ultra-health-conscious, which led to becoming an adult who loves fine-tuning her personal health. As a part of that optimization, I minimize or mitigate any kind of radiation exposure I can, where I can, because I believe that little efforts in any aspect of health add up over time.

Bluetooth gives off slightly less non-ionizing radiation than cell phones in general — it’s less radiation to use Bluetooth to take a call rather than bringing the phone itself up to your ear. But, with wired headphones, I eliminate both pieces — my phone stays away from my torso, and my wired headphones deliver the audio to my ear without any added radiation.

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2

The microphone

And the drama

Yes, I know almost all headphones now have a built-in microphone. But there’s something about grabbing ahold of the volume-control microphone when the yap session with your long-distance bestie gets interesting and gasping at some new gossip. Grabbing it when the conversation gets juicy is the pearl-clutch move of my generation, and there’s no way to emulate that with two ear buds that live in a square battery box.

Besides how iconic the grab is, I also love the iPod-Shuffle-style volume control, pause/play, and go-back/skip features that sit on the right ear’s wire. It was a genius design way back when, and AirPods have never once been able to compete with the functionality. There’s also something comfortingly tangible about picking up the microphone when it’s your time to talk. Every time I pick it up, my brain locks in on the conversation even more. Plus, everyone around me can see that I’m obviously on the phone with someone rather than laughing at a joke on the sidewalk no one heard.

Not all physical buttons need to be abandoned for the sake of touchscreens and “higher tech” control elements. If it ain’t broke, it doesn’t need fixing.

piranka from Getty Images Signature / Pocket-lint

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3

Battery life

Just another thing to charge

Pocket-lint

The words “my headphones are dead” have never once come out of my mouth. I’ve never had to walk into a gym, dreadfully realize that my headphones are out of juice, and then have to decide between leaving the gym or working out in silence (and listening to the ambiance of grunts, equipment slamming to and fro, and the rare but never lacking burly man singing old Taylor Swift songs under his breath when he thinks no one can hear him). There’s no torture like planking without music, I’ll tell you that — Karaoke (Taylor’s Version) playing or not.

I think it’s ridiculous to charge a pair of headphones — there, I said it. They’ve always been hardware that’s dead and useless until they’re plugged into a headphone jack, and suddenly, sound courses through them and into your ears. There’s something so analog, simple, and enjoyable about that, and Bluetooth headphones are simply too pompous. It’s similar to every product being stricken with AI or smart features now — not everything has to come loaded with fancy specs and some kind of intelligence feature.

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Headphones are a way to get audio from my device to my ears — since when did it have to get more complicated than that? Another hurdle I avoid because of my wired preference is the absurd price point that Bluetooth headphones have reached, even for an “average” pair. My old Bose SoundSports and my Apple EarPods do more than the trick with great sound, mics, and comfort — and I never spent more than $75 on a pair.

I haven’t even touched on pairing issues. As long as you have a good pair of trusty buds, Bluetooth shouldn’t give you too much of an issue, but a pair I reviewed a few months ago has recently given me the biggest pairing headache known to man. The worst day ever would entail going to the gym, only getting one bud to pair, then as soon as you hit a plank, the battery dying on you. You know what that would never ever happen with? Wired headphones.